You are not in charge of the universe.  (That position has already been filled).  You are not responsible for the happiness or sanity of those around you.  (Some of your family members or closest friends may have already made other plans).  You are not in control of the moods, choices, or reactions of those around you;  (only your own).  If you are so unhappy, change the old rules.  Life does not always go smoothly – adapt.  When faced with anything that might cause anger, frustration, or confusion, say to yourself: I can handle this – I can cope with this – and then do so.  Holding on to old resentments is painful. (Do yourself a favor and let them go).  Don’t repeat old patterns that don’t work. (Remember who you’re trying to become). Christ has given us the perfect directions to be successful – love God, and love your fellowman.  It helps to remember, life isn’t fair but it’s still pretty good, and we are the ones who can manage the unmanageable!  However, if we choose not to manage life, then we will develop symptoms.  (Symptoms are just messages).  (Once we understand the message, we don’t need the symptom.  But if we don’t learn the symptom, the lesson will be repeated).  For instance, when it comes to resentment, anger, and fear, either we manage them, or we are controlled by them.  Resentment is not managing the past.  Anger is not managing the present.  And fear is not managing the future.  (Focusing too much on the past results in depression.  Focusing too much on the future results in anxiety).  The solution to this dilemma is to replace resentment, anger, and fear with the hope of the Gospel, and that is based on faith.  Faith is not about everything turning out OK.  Faith is about being OK no matter how things turn out.  When we are confronted with a life that doesn’t go the way we want it to, we get frustrated, embarrassed, anxious, fearful, and we feel weak and depressed, and then we break down.  When it comes to faith, if you can believe, all things are possible.  In D&C: 17& 18 we find the words: Verily, Verily, I say unto you, ye are little children, and ye have not as yet understood all things the Father hath prepared for you; and ye cannot bear all things now, nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along.  The kingdom is yours and the blessings are yours, and the riches of Eternity are yours.  What I take from this is simple.  Don’t tell God how big your problems are; tell your problems how big your God is.  Wayne Dyer wrote: Look for opportunities to be inspired.  Take a lot of walks and turn them into prayers. Our mind is capable of transcending our old limitations.  Be patient – healing takes time.  Patience with self is hope.  Patience with others is love.  And patience with God is faith.  In managing life and enduring to the end, we are encouraged to be courageous.  But true courage does not always mean being stronger, or faster, or bigger.  Sometimes it simply means quietly doing what needs to be done, again and again.  It is the tired voice at the end of the day saying, “Tomorrow, I will try again.”  President Roosevelt wrote: True courage belongs to those who are in the arena; whose faces are marred by dust and sweat and blood; who know the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spend themselves in a worthy cause; who at the best know in the end the triumph of high achievement;  and who at the worst, if they fail, at least fail while daring greatly, so that their place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.” 

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the Intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.