Don’t worry, things are not as bad as they seem. They couldn’t be!

Now, I’ll admit there are times that things look a little bleak, but those times pass. They always pass.

In fact, some modern day philosopher has written:

“Thank God things come to pass...and not to stay.”

I think that sums life up pretty well. It’s a journey, an experience, a process. It’s an opportunity to examine correct and incorrect principles, and then to decide which ones “fit.”

In essence, it’s a real-life emotional juggling act that allows us to clearly define our personalities. And in the process, we eventually discover that we’re headstrong and controlling, as well as tender and caring.

We talk of losing ourselves in the service of our fellow men, but we usually do what we think is in our best interest.

We admire humility and meekness, but often become self-centered.

We profess honesty and integrity, 

but clearly rationalize and minimize in our own favor.

We are known by many, loved by some, and despised by a few, and we consistently return those feelings, each for each.

Even worse, we allow the reactions of others to determine how we feel about ourselves.

As further evidence of our insecurity, we constantly compare ourselves to others, and measure our achievements by what others have not done.

So what’s the solution to this dilemma? Experience.

Experience is the name we give to our mistakes. It’s how we pay our dues.

And as a result of that experience, eventually we learn that it’s not enough to be good.

We have to be good for something. That means commitment, and dedication, and direction.

Achievement doesn’t just happen by itself. It’s always the result of natural laws. And two of the most important natural laws are growth and decay. Simply put, when we stop growing and developing, we begin to decay, to die.

This puts the responsibility for our success in our own hands, for as someone once wrote:

We have two ends with a common link.

With one we sit, with one we think.

Success depends on which you use.

Heads you win. Tails you lose.

Loosely translated, this means you can’t sit on your bottom and slide to the top. It requires a lot of effort to be successful, even more to be happy.

And there’s a difference.

Success simply means getting what you want. Happiness means wanting what you get.

Sounds confusing, but fortunately, the instructions for both are relatively simple and can be summed up in four words:

“Life – some assembly required.”

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.