As the story goes, a little boy was watching as Michelangelo was sculpting the statue of David.

But as the artist removed one small chip at a time, the young boy became restless. Because of his limited perception, all he could see was a shapeless mass of granite, and after a short time, he lost interest and left.

Months later, he returned just as Michelangelo was finishing the work of art. Looking at the statue of David, he asked, almost reverently, “How did you know he was in there?”

And so it is with each of us. Rarely are we able to see ourselves accurately. We often focus on our “supposedly” shapeless mass, or on the pain that results as the “chips” are chiseled away

by our losses and difficult life experiences.

In reality, these chips are key components in the refining process. And as they are removed, we eventually discover the work of art inside. Ironically from what appears to be a painful process of loss, we develop the gifts of insight, understanding, and wisdom.

We’re all in some stage of being prepared to make a difference. The problems we encounter, and the successes and failures we experience, are all part of the discovery and developmental processes that ultimately define our lives. And as we do so, we’re brought into the lives of others

to touch, and teach, and motivate, and love.

But because of our limited perception, things tend to get complicated, and we get off track as we engage in a variety of self-defeating behaviors.

In essence, we get ourselves into a hole, and keep ourselves there 

by denying, rationalizing, or justifying our position.

We need to remember “The First Rule of Holes” which states:

When you’re in one, stop digging!

Life can be confusing, and our performance is often misjudged to be our worth. But performance does not equal worth. Worth exists even when it hasn’t been. 

To clarify: we are not what has happened in the past, with its pain, mistakes, and devastation.

We are not what is happening now, with all of our symptoms, addictions, and self-defeating behaviors.

And we are not what will happen in the future, with all our fears, anxieties, and uncertainties.

While each of these dynamic forces contributes to the discovery and development of who we really are, the most significant factor is what we become as a result of them.

In reality, we are so much more than any of them. We’re here to get a body, gain experience

and help those around us to get back home.

But with the challenges in life, it becomes so easy to lose sight of those goals.

In the movie “Lion King”, Simba had a similar experience. He was running from himself, from his past. In a very dramatic scene, his Father materialized in the clouds and said, “You have forgotten me. You have forgotten who you are, and so, you have forgotten me. Look inside yourself. You are more than you have become. Remember who you are.”

How often are we like this? With all the problems and confusion in life, we tend to get lost. We avoid looking inside because we’re so afraid we’ll find nothing of value. So we run. We settle for less than who we really are. Because of this, my guess is that if Heavenly Father were to come to us,

He would say, “You have forgotten me.

You have forgotten who you are, and so you have forgotten me.

Look inside yourself. You are more than you have become. Remember who you are.”

Because of this, regardless of our genetics, our training, or our experience, life is ultimately a choice.

We can either choose to live life on purpose, and get what we want or we can choose to live life on accident, and settle for whatever comes our way.

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.