I have to smile when I use the term of “our old patterns” when considering our lives on Earth, compared to the eternity that we spent with Heavenly Father before we came to Earth.  These two time periods aren’t even closely related in terms of longevity.  But such is life.

The following are some of the lessons related to our old patterns:

• That which is familiar becomes normal.

• That which is normal is often taken for granted.

• That which is taken for granted loses its significance.

• That which loses its significance loses its beauty.  

Heavenly Father seems to allow us to experience the conditions of Mortality, apparently to give us an increased ability to grow and learn.  A few of these learning experiences include practicing confidence in the midst of transformation, identifying that there are always options in the midst of anxiety, yearning in the midst of complacency, being patience in the midst of challenges, overcoming the conditions of Mortality, and understanding that both our strengths and our weaknesses have purpose.  In essence, our life in this world is almost like going away to college for a while.  And ironically, it appears that we’re slow learners.  

Learning takes time, and sometimes we get frustrated with the learning process.  We usually want success to be easier, but it’s not.  Two things are necessary for success.  First, see yourself as someone who is able to change.  Second, and even more importantly, understand that change occurs slowly.  So, develop patience and persistence by taking only one step at a time.  Know what you want to accomplish and set your goals just beyond your reach, but not out of reason. 

Try to remember that success is never final and failure is never fatal.  Being successful means never accepting failure as your final destination.  So, challenge yourself.  Be your own friend.  Encourage yourself.  

Be honest with yourself and be open with others.  Manipulating others tends to become a way of life so easily, and in the process, everyone loses.  So, appreciate who you are and strive to become who you want to be.  You’re the only one who knows enough about yourself to accomplish that.   Remember – No one ever rolls to the top of the mountain.  It always takes a lot of effort to achieve anything worth having, and it requires even more to hold on to it later.  Refuse to let procrastination and fear stop your development, and avoid taking only the path of least resistance.

Continually remind yourself that mediocrity is always self-inflicted, and that your destiny rests entirely on what you think and what you choose to be.  No one can do it for you, because you are the master of your fate.

And another thing is that we’re becoming what we’re thinking, so be careful what you’re thinking about and what you focus upon.  There are lots of distractions around us.  Remember that failure is no accident.  Unhappiness is a choice and usually results when irrational or unworthy beliefs are chosen.  Remember, thoughts become things.

Be happy!  Ironically, those who are happy seldom go crazy.  But keep in mind that part of being happy is achieved when we realize that happiness does not require us to be happy all the time.  Life is a series of cycles.  Specifically, the end on one cycle is the beginning of another.  Neither is permanent, so don’t let your cycles overwhelm you.   

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.