The season of uncertainty is often followed by the season of fear.  But remember, these seasons are merely learning courses.  We learn from them and discover that they only have the power we give them.  What a relief we experience when we finally discover that we can move beyond the fear.  As we do so, we learn life-lessons that change us.  Some of the lessons I’m referring to include:

Fear is not a stop sign, it is a beginning.  And as we discover this, we also discover that love conquers fear.  Over the years, philosophers have discovered that we need to do all things with love, because not only does love conquer fear, but when we rely on love, we grow stronger.  Our vision changes.  We see life more clearly, and we discover that fear is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.

With love, we discover that in difficulties with life and relationships, it’s not what we look at, it’s what we choose to see and understand.  As we grow beyond where we were, we’re able to see the world more clearly.  And in this process, we become a new individual.  In fact, Dr. Seuss put it this way:  Today you are you!  That is truer than true!  There is no one alive who is youer than you (end quote).  As we accept this, we’ll discover that when we change our thoughts, we change our world.  In this manner, when we change ourselves, avenues to move forward will be discovered and we’ll realize that life is not about finding ourselves, it is about creating ourselves.

In this world, beauty is all around.  Look for it.  Create it. Enjoy it.  And don’t be surprised that others can’t see it.  Unfortunately, there are many who choose not to see it.  They were raised with fear and uncertainty and they believe there is no escape from this prison.  But life goes on, even if some decide to stay where they’re stuck.  Their time will come.

But for us, life goes on.  Move beyond the past.  Take what we’ve learned and continue to create our future.  Decide to grow beyond the past.  When we believe we can, we’re halfway there. 

As we grow with new principles and stronger attitudes, we’ll discover interesting patterns in the people around us.  Pessimists complain about the wind, optimists expect the wind to change, but the realists adjust the sails.  All of these have a place in our lives.

There are a lot of good people out there but many don’t understand that they can rise above the storms, so they stay stuck.  Maybe they didn’t receive the nurturing and love that leads to healthy living skills.  Be patient with those who don’t understand, but we can’t allow their negativity to pull us down.  They may be overwhelmed by the uncertainty and fear that was a part of their early learning experiences.  Don’t feel that we have to change them.  Be ourselves and use our new skills, but don’t be surprised if others are not ready to accept a healthier pattern.  Be patient with them.

And yes, when it comes to fear and uncertainty, love cures people, both those who give it and those who receive it.  Love can conquer fear and uncertainty because where there is love, there is life.  

So, what should we do at this point in life?  Live like we’ve never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and work like we don’t need the money.  Step forward and remember that we can go where the path may lead, or we can go where there is no path and leave a trail.  Understand that perseverance and persistence distinguish the strong from the weak.  With peace of mind, we can face the ever-present challenges, confrontations, and disruptions without fear and uncertainty.    

Don’t be upset by the pain of the past or the fears and uncertainty that we have experienced, and always remember that good judgement comes from poor judgment.  So, be careful.  Remember where we’ve been and remind ourselves of the insights that we have developed.  Value them!

Don’t be fooled into believing that we are merely who we’ve been or where we’ve been, or that our confusing identity is our destiny.  It’s not!  Our environment does not create us because who we are far exceeds any temporary season.  We define ourselves by our choices and decisions.  We can’t afford to let others define us.  So, remember, now is not the time for half measures because fortune favors the bold.  Enjoy the ride.  Create it.  Make it memorable. Make it yours. 

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.