Adoption – a bittersweet journeyNov 18, 2021 08:34AM ● By Becky Ginos
BOUNTIFUL—It took Jen Deveraux years to become a mother but looking back all the effort was worth it now that she has adopted two beautiful little girls. November is National Adoption Month and Nov. 20 is National Adoption Day.
“We had infertility issues,” she said. “We tried for about six years and nothing happened. I did six rounds of IVI. Then I got into a car accident and it got put on the back burner.”
Deveraux spent three years in rehab. “Then we said ‘let’s try again.’ Nothing was happening. They did every test under the sun. At one time they took 16 vials of blood. I was on the edge of the bed and fainted. When I came to they said they weren’t done and that unless I kept going it would be a waste of time.”
The tests showed she had an over-acting immune system. “I had a 10 percent chance of having a baby,” said Deveraux. “My body kills everything foreign that comes in.”
They hadn’t considered adoption at first, she said. “I had decided I was just not meant to have kids.”
When they did decide to try adopting, they went through a private agency. The first time, after the baby was born, the birth mom decided to keep her, said Deveraux. The next one they followed the girl all the way through to delivery but she lost the baby.
“It was such a rollercoaster,” she said. “It’s nothing you can imagine.”
One night while they were having dinner Deveraux got a picture from the agency of a 14-month-old little girl. “She said ‘she’s not an infant do you still want her?’ Instantly we had an almost 2-year-old. It was literally 48 hours. We had sold everything because I didn’t want a baby room. We went to Target and got two cart loads of stuff.”
That’s when Journee, now 8, came into their lives. “We met in a hotel lobby in Bountiful and they slid her on her bum across the table,” Deveraux said. “She is one of eight children. The mother has given up seven.”
Deveraux said she then learned of a mother who was pregnant with a boy and due in April. “I thought ‘a boy and a girl, that’s perfect my work is done.’ But then April came and went and I didn’t know what was happening. She decided she didn’t want to give him up. It’s too emotional.”
Then nine months after getting Journee, another girl became available for adoption and Swayzee came into their lives. “I had two under two,” said Deveraux. “Be careful what you wish for.”
Parents want kids so badly but they have to do what’s best for them, she said. “It happens when it’s supposed to happen. We appreciate our kids because we had to fight for them.”
Parents are searching and waiting and wondering why it’s taking so long, Deveraux said. “I look back and I was in my closet in tears and on my knees but once you get them in your arms – it’s amazing.”
The birth moms don’t know the gift they’re giving parents, she said. “There are no words to say how much this means. I can’t thank them enough, all I can do is make sure their children are taken care of and have what they need.”