Just in time for your last-minute search for Christmas toys and hope that Aunt Hazel doesn’t send you her annual fruit cake, here is the Cyclops annual Holiday carol (Sing to the tune of the Mel Torme-written “The Christmas Song”).

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

But even hotter are our teams;

Trophies and bowls for Aggies, Cougs, and Utes

And the Rose Bowl is no longer a dream.

Legislators ignored voter petitions

In their clueless partisan din;

Republicans gerrymandered our districts

Making sure the Democrats can’t win.

Parents loudly asked school boards

To ban books on diversity;

Best to keep our young ones safe

From developing any curiosity.

The deadly virus marches through our towns,

Young get sick, seniors die;

Our ICUs are filled to the brim

Cuz’ knuckleheads think COVIDs a lie.

Fringe groups grumble election fraud,

“Trump really won,” they note.

Stop mail-in ballots and make it hard

For Native Americans and Latinos to vote.

But for most of us, the season is

A time to reflect and cheer.

Wear a mask, get all of your shots,

Odds are good you’ll be safe and healthy next year.