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Davis Journal

Mental health and why does life have to be so difficult?

Mar 23, 2023 12:00PM ● By John Waterbury

In one way or another, we’ve all been there.  We’ve all experienced the pain and frustration when life is not as we think it should be. These are the times that we need to put ourselves into motion, even though we may not want to. These are the times when our reserves may have been depleted, and yet we still find ourselves in the midst of a battle.                                                          

We’ve all known despair: Our physical and emotional aches and pains become immobilizing. Our capacities seem insufficient or nonexistent. And just when we’re sure it can’t get any worse, it does.  Everyone has been there. And unless there is some kind of intervention to help us through the morass, we may believe that the problem is bigger than we are. But don’t believe it.

Despair can make us feel that life is unmanageable, but it’s not. Despair can make us believe that our damaged self-esteem will never recover, but it will. Despair may even make us feel that we’ve been imprisoned by our hopeless and helpless feelings, and that we’ll never get out, but we will, because the cell door has never been locked.   

While it’s possible to identify our thinking errors and replace them with healthier thoughts, it may be difficult since these thinking errors may be generations in depth. However, this journey is well-worth the effort. Use the pain as the motivation to make the journey.

By changing the old rules and distortions, the battle between light and darkness can be understood and managed much more successfully, empowering us to move to higher levels. In this manner, we finally learn that the only way to develop the light of resilience is to face the darkness of disappointment and futility; that the only way to develop the light of confidence is to face the darkness of our fears; that the only way to develop the light of spiritual and emotional depth is to face the darkness of confusion and hesitancy; that the only way to develop the light of balance and design is to face the darkness of uncertainty and chaos; and ultimately, that the only way to enjoy all the light of happiness is to intentionally do battle with the author of darkness, doubt, and despair; for darkness cannot tolerate the light. And when we accomplish this, we evolve into a higher being.

In 2 Cor 4:8, Paul addressed many of these issues very well when he wrote of his own growth: We are troubled on every side, but not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; cast down, but not destroyed (end quote.) These concepts were written for us.  Paul understood that our battles with darkness, invariably, lead to a desire for the light.   

And finally, don’t run from the pain. Face it. Manage it. If pain is not a central part of your life, then the plan is not working. Take charge. Make the effort. Don’t settle for less. Redefine yourself. Enjoy the light. 

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.