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Davis Journal

Clarity can make the victim the victor

May 30, 2023 11:37AM ● By John Waterbury

Let’s face it.  Of course we’re off course!

Everyone is, to some degree. But there’s no need to worry about being off course as long as we’re committed to making a series of minor course corrections. That’s the key!

Some time ago, Dr. David Donaldson, a pediatric endocrinologist, shared a thought-provoking concept with me: “That which can be measured, can be managed.”

Now, while his statement referred to the treatment of childhood diabetes, it also has a direct application to the field of psychotherapy.

For that which can be measured, or defined, can be understood. And that which can be understood, can be managed.

The problem is that many people who experience emotional distress don’t understand what caused them to be “off course” in the first place. And if they are unable to accurately define those disabling factors, then they tend to repeat the self-defeating patterns until they become controlled by them.The key is understanding, and understanding begins with clarity.

Clarity emphasizes that our greatest strength lies not in the absence of vulnerability, but in the decision to rise above its immobilizing effects.

Clarity helps us understand that while there are no victims without volunteers, the victims can become victors.

Clarity emphasizes that happiness, peace of mind, and even sanity itself cannot be measured by how far we have to go, but by how far we have come.

Clarity emphasizes that the value we place upon ourselves determines the quality of the people we allow into our lives,

for we only attract people we feel worthy of, and we never let ourselves have more love than we think we deserve.

Clarity emphasizes that growing stronger, increasing self-esteem, and improving self-confidence only comes from taking risks, making new choices, and moving outside of the old comfort zones.   

Clarity helps us recognize that there is often purpose in confusion, and design in imperfections. And as such, when managed effectively, they become blessings in disguise.

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.  λ