Even though we have been taught correct principles since we were young, there tends to be some uncertainty about who we are, where we fit in, and how we will manage our future.  When we consider the concepts of mortality as a preparatory step to eternity, suddenly there tends to be some uncertainty, or maybe anxiety, when considering what the expectations are that we need to live our lives by.  And there is even some concern about what will happen after this brief mortal experience.  But don’t be fooled. President Thomas S. Monson addressed this issue when he wrote: (Quote) Be of Good Cheer.  The future is as bright as your faith on your best day (End Quote). 

Apparently, the value of our lives will be determined not by our accomplishments, but by what Heavenly Father has been able to accomplish through us.  Now, that may sound somewhat scary since we may have failed to do everything that we could have done.  The natural law in life is that it’s impossible for the energy we give out in life to not come back to us in some form.  The greatest knowledge that I know of is that our side is going to win.  It may take a while, and it may not come back to us in the way we had expected, but the positive will outweigh the negative.  Hold to the positive.  It may have to rise from the dust, but the positive is all around us.  Life is all around us, and we are receiving help in ways we can’t comprehend.  We are here by a Grand Design.

So, as Elder Jeffry R. Holland wrote: (Quote) Be patient and kind and forgiving (End Quote). 

Ours is a blessing of duty and love.  And we need to ask ourselves, If the answer is not affirmative, then change the approach.  Expect to succeed.  Find your courage.  Stretch yourself.  Don’t settle.  Use the best of your imagination.  Simply put: When we do what must be done to meet the challenges in life, miracles take place.  Our confidence and self-mastery will expand.  But when we allow fear or confusion to control us, unhappiness will increase.  When we work through life’s challenges, anxiety will be reduced, and peace of mind will increase.  But when we become immobilized by self-doubt, despair will result.  Always remember: we are in charge of our minds.  Blessings may help.  Medication may help, and friends will be there to help us along the path…if we let them.  But in the end, it’s the Power of Darkness that wants us to stumble…We’re in the midst of a battle.

When we are of service to those around us, a sense of significance will develop.  But when we begin to feel responsible for everyone and everything, or when we feel that we cannot be healed, futility will result.  But don’t believe the negative thoughts.  Respect your limits.  When we reach out to those around us, we will develop greater life-management skills and depth of understanding.  When we fight the battles that must be fought, greater strength and resilience will develop.  But when we try to run from these battles, or avoid them at all costs, uncertainty will develop.  When we take time to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us, we will find an optimism that will help us manage the tough times.  So, give time, time.  It will heal the pain and solve problems that can’t be healed in any other way.  Heavenly Father will coordinate this process.  We belong to Him.

When we consider the issues of life and the challenges that seem to complicate our lives, the poetry and life-management issues of William Ernest Henley come to mind.  He was dying from a terrible illness that caused issues that resulted in continuous pain.  In his poetry he described the pain and the innermost challenges that were part of his final phase that he was going through.  He titles this piece of philosophy: Invictus.

(Quote) Out of the night that covers me, black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever Gods there may be for my unconquerable soul.  In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced or cried aloud.  Under the bludgeoning of chance my head is bloody but unbowed.  Beyond this place of tears looms but the horror of the shade, and yet the menace of the years finds and shall find me unafraid.  It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishment the scroll, I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul (End Quote).

We are the masters of our fate.  Our challenges push us to the limits of our being.  And it is we who must choose how we manage our final period.  May we face our challenges with the strength and confidence of a lifetime.  May we never give up or give in.  The race is ours.  May we remain as strong as possible until the final step.  But we need to be aware of the barriers.  And there are many.  Some of them include:

Expecting quick and simple answers to complex problems.  There are no quick and simple problems.

Holding on to familiar patterns of behavior and attitudes about self.  Hesitating to give up old patterns and principles for new ones.  Accepting psychological or behavioral discrepancies and incongruities as normal, immutable, and unchangeable.  Refusing to be open regarding personal thoughts and behaviors.  Being defensive because of insecurities.  Change requires admission that change is desirable.  Few changes occur when we become defensive. 

Lacking the skill to accurately understand behavior.  Lacking knowledge of problem-solving skills.  “Common sense will prevail.”  It’s just human behavior.”  These discourage the use of a systematic approach.  Hesitating to accept or give truthful responses because of the need for approval from others.  Failing to see the connection between new knowledge and its potential use.  Don’t give up in this process.

Life is good.  The future is good.  Make it so!      

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.