Life is tough! It always has been, and the good guys don’t always win. So, sometimes it may seem that the best we can do is to simply hold on; to endure, to survive. But there’s more to life than mere survival. I believe that today is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.  An action-packed episode based on the theme that if we want what we have not, we have to do what we do not.  

I believe that today is not yesterday. In other words, that no matter how bad it was yesterday, today can be different, if you choose to make it so. I believe that while a lot of things in life will undoubtedly go wrong, if everything looks black, you probably have your eyes shut.

I believe that change is a correct principle and that it’s necessary for all growth and development.  I believe pain makes us think, thinking makes us wise, and wisdom makes life worth living. But more importantly, I believe that self-worth is the key to understanding who we are and knowing where we fit in. It’s what Emerson was referring to when he wrote: What lies behind us and  what lies before us are tiny things, compared to what lies within us.”

Self-worth is the cornerstone of all that is essential, and yet most of us don’t fully appreciate its significance. When we evaluate ourselves, we tend to look at our accumulated mistakes and failures, and interpret them as evidence of some kind of basic inadequacy; an inadequacy that labels us and limits us in all areas of life. But our self-worth is not affected by our mistakes and failures. Based on the writings of Dr. David Burns, self-worth is constant and unchanging, it’s noble and worthwhile. We did not come to this world to get self worth, we brought it with us.  And because we’ve always had it, it is not something we develop, but something we discover.  Our entire success in this world is based upon that discovery (end quote). Without an accurate sense of self-worth, we may try to compensate with accomplishments or talent, good looks or success. But this is a futile effort, resulting not in long-term happiness, but only temporary satisfaction. And finally, not even loving relationships can protect us from the pain and losses in life.

The sad truth is that most depressed individuals are very much loved and cared for. But without the recognition of their real self-worth, they often lose their direction, and it’s often a long road back.

Trina Paulus wrote, “How does one become a butterfly? You must first want to fly so much that you’re willing to give up being a caterpillar, (end quote). And so it is for each of us. So dare to be bold. Dare to achieve your God-given potential. Dare to fly. With this in mind, Mark Twain once wrote: The secret to getting ahead is getting started (end quote).  And James Allen wrote: For true success, ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? And why not now? (end quote). These questions are central to us if we are to get ahead. Brian Tracy emphasized: They say that no one slides into success. Specifically, nothing of any significance is achieved without great effort. It sets you free from the past, and it prepares us for the future and apparently, our greatest reward for our service is not what we are paid, but what we become as a result of it (end quote).

In different ways and in different words, each of these philosophers were referring to the same thing. So, as I understand this, we need to move confidently in the direction of our dreams, for as Henry David Thoreau wrote live the life you’ve imagined (End quote). And at the same time, remember that the most important things are not things, for as Michelangelo, one of the most well-known philosophers wrote: the greatest danger is not that our aim is too high, and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it (End quote). 

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.