Where there is hatred, 

let me sow love;  

Where there is injury, pardon.  

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is darkness, Light;  

Where there is despair, hope;  

Where there is sadness, joy.  

O Divine Master, grant that 

I may not so much seek 

to be consoled as to console, 

For it is in giving that we receive; 

It is in pardoning that we 

are pardoned, 

It is in dying that we are 

born to eternal life.

          Amen

This prayer is one that we all can use to decide on some of the most important areas in our lives. These principles were written in a simple, concise manner, and they have remained useful for hundreds of years. When St. Francis wrote this amazing prayer, he didn’t restrict them to any one individual or any one church. He made it available for all of us to receive the benefit. What matters most in our lives can be a difficult concept to measure. At times, we all get lost, so to speak. Maybe we question ourselves, our background, or our future. We may question our worth, our confidence, our direction for life, and as a result, we may lose our motivation. We may even question our existence. This beautiful, significant prayer is useful for identifying many of the most significant areas in life. 

So, what is the role we have chosen to play in life? And what kind of legacy are we creating? The reality is that when we get lost, we may forget many of the significant answers to these questions. Fortunately, through the process of rediscovering the answers, we will eventually find ourselves once again. 

For myself, I pray that we will have an abundance of that which matters most, so that we may be able to judge our worth accurately, and not define ourselves by that which matters least. Specifically, as we prepare ourselves to manage this process, it is imperative that we look for opportunities that will lead to high expectations, hard work, and values that will enable us to commit ourselves to something greater than ourselves. Fortunately, opportunities are endless, and we all have unique abilities to make these contributions. Unfortunately, at times we may be stubborn or unyielding, as we take a circuitous route that leaves behind emotional scars and bruises. In this manner, there are lessons to be learned, tears to be shed, people to be loved, and beauty to be shared. For some, the road to insight is long and winding. But for those who are spiritually in tune, they need to remain hopeful and helpful for those who have taken the long course.  

All that glitters is not always gold, but sometimes it is. And things don’t have to be perfect to be good. Most of us fall into this category, so the answer is to hate less, work hard, give more, and forgive always. Take the higher road. Move beyond the past. We always have a choice. In this process, we can find joy in the journey.

So, what does all this mean? I don’t think that the answers to this question were ever meant to be so complicated that we would give up. There is wisdom to be gained from experiencing the exhilaration and freedom of the light, and there is emotional depth to be gained from tolerating the intolerability of the darkness. Life is full of these lessons. They’re like sign posts. They’re everywhere. Sometimes we see them and change our course early on, but sometimes we ignore them until the pain and discouragement force us to change the direction we’re moving. Fortunately, life is not a curse, it’s a course. We can alter our course. But sometimes the apparent futility of learning these lessons makes us believe that we should give up, that it’s a waste of time to keep trying because this is as good as it gets. And once again, with this kind of thinking, it’s easy to get lost. The fact is that we are becoming, and we only become by beginning again and again. And if we ever believe that it’s too late to begin again, then we rob ourselves of that which might have been. We need to remember that seldom does anyone get everything right the first time. There is always a price to be paid for insight. And, no matter what, there is always someone who can help us redefine our emotional pain, and thereby, increase a positive perspective that can change lives.

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.