We live in an amazing world where our standard of living is high, our opportunities are many, and our possibilities are exciting…..And yet there are many who seem to be lost and overwhelmed. But apparently, this pattern is not new.  

In 1967 Kenny Rogers and the First Edition put this pattern of uncertainty and confusion into music with the words in their song: “I Just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.” Then, as now, uncertainty seemed to be prevalent, leading to unpredictability and unreliability in life styles.  And yet, like the proverbial “Rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic,” many were, and continue to stay, with a confusing pattern of futility to guide them.  

This pattern teaches us that we’re here in this world only as a step that leads to Eternity.  It is not the end of our journey. Literally, the best is yet to come, so don’t get caught up in the world’s solutions that seem to be quick and easy. There are no quick and easy solutions to the challenges in life.                                                                   

It is definitely ironic that in this world of color and beauty, where plenty is there for the asking, so many people are suffering. Some suffer from genetic predispositions, others from a life that has been overwhelming. Life can be like that at times.  Maybe the key is to simply do the best we can with what we’ve got, maintain hope that things will get better, and rely on our skills for the rest.

It’s interesting, that many people consistently condition themselves to feel disturbed. They tend to worry themselves sick until they do indeed become ill. People have biological and cultural tendencies to think crookedly and to needlessly disturb themselves. They are unique in that they invent disturbing beliefs and keep themselves disturbed. 

With a little training, just about anybody has the capacity to change their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. They can choose to react differently from their usual patterns, refuse to allow themselves to become upset, and train themselves so that they can remain minimally disturbed for the rest of their lives. So why don’t they take charge of their lives and their reactions? Such is human nature? 

Simply put, human beings seem to have a tendency to condition themselves to feel disturbed. They may also have biological tendencies to think crookedly, thereby following generational patterns that lead to thinking errors. Humans are unique in that they invent disturbing beliefs and keep themselves disturbed about their disturbances. 

So, what are some tactics of intervention that may be used to alter our paths? Maybe the most useful patterns might include identifying some of our irrational ideas that are so common, and they might include: I must have love or approval from all the significant people in my life. Or, believing that I must perform important tasks competently and perfectly well.  Or, because I strongly desire that people treat me considerately and fairly, they must do so. Or, if I don’t get what I want, it would be terrible and I won’t be able to stand it. Or, believing that it’s easier to avoid facing life’s difficulties and responsibilities than to undertake more rewarding forms of self-discipline.  

To counter the irrational ideas mentioned above, it simply means engaging in activities that will counter the propaganda. We need to recognize that emotional disturbances are kept active by continuing to think illogically and by repeating the self-defeating meanings and philosophies. We need to identify and abandon the irrational ideas, replacing them with correct principles. In this manner, our goal is to develop a philosophy of life that will enable us to avoid becoming the victim of other irrational beliefs.  

If we have everything but a sense of who we really are, we have nothing.  And yet, if we have nothing but a sense of who we really are, then we really have everything. Unfortunately, sometimes while trying to discover who we really are, we get lost. But if we can keep the Big Picture in mind, that we’re in this world to get a body, gain experience, and touch the lives of those around us, then everything else becomes manageable.  

In other words, we’re not broken simply because we’re not perfect at this point. In fact, life appears to be orchestrated in such a manner that even our weaknesses and inabilities, and our limitations and disabilities enable us to touch the lives of those around us in ways that only we can do so. Because of their impact upon us, these problems force us to redefine ourselves. In essence, they are the portals of discovery.

I’ve come to believe that Heavenly Father is intimately involved in this process, and that things are so well coordinated, that He has already prepared others to answer prayers we haven’t even prayed yet.  He knows what our needs are now, and He knows what they’re going to be in the future. He has literally prepared others to be brought into our lives, to touch our spirits, to fill the void. And the most exciting part of this process is that we’re in the middle of becoming one of these “tour guides” ourselves.  

The recovery process that you’re going through right now is bigger than you are, and it has a much greater significance than the pain of your own personal issues.  As a result of the choices you’re making, changes will occur. Your life, and the lives of those with whom you’ll be involved, will never be the same.

With the insight, understanding, and wisdom that will develop from this experience, and with the knowledge of tools and techniques that you’ll learn, you’ll find solutions to your problems, and you’ll be brought into the lives of others in a manner that will replenish both your energies, and theirs.

We really do have a worth that is far beyond our mortal ability to fully comprehend.  And because it is so far beyond us, its effect upon us will be to serve as a guiding beacon that will quietly, but most assuredly, lead us home.

Sometimes, things seem overwhelming, but they’re not. The fact is that rising above the confusion and uncertainty in this world is just a matter of subtleties; it’s living, not just being alive. It’s choosing, not just having choices. It’s acting, not just reacting. We have a wide variety of options, alternatives, and choices, and each of these has even more options and alternatives.

As we take charge of this process, it’s important that we redefine ourselves, not by our worst days, but by our best; not by our mistakes of the past, but by the insight that has resulted from making the mistakes, not by what we say we’re going to do, but by the choices we make and the actions we take.  No, life may not be the party we hoped for, but through our choices, we determine the music. And since we have a choice, we might as well dance.

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.