It seems very clear that in this world, there are easy things, and there are not so easy things. There are things that are above and beyond, and there are things that may take an Eternity to understand. So, be patient with yourself. We’ve been taught that the two greatest commandments are to love God and love each other. That sounds simple, but sometimes we define ourselves in such a manner that it makes it difficult to accomplish either one of these commandments very effectively. We are not lost to Heavenly Father. He knows the beginning from the end. 

Because of our past, our mistakes, our symptoms, and our frustrations, we often feel that we’re unworthy or that we have nothing to give. But, we’re more than our past. We’re more than our symptoms. We’re more than our secrets. We’re more than our poor choices.  And with all of this, we’re more than the sum of our choices.

In fact, I could also add that we’re more than our confusion, we’re more than our fears, and we’re more than our self-defeating thoughts and weaknesses. We’re more than our mistakes and we’re more than anything that’s been done to us. We’re more than the uncertainty and anxiety when we worry about the future. We’re in this world, not because we’re better than anyone else, but because we’re sons and daughters of God who believe all we’ve been taught, right from the very beginning. That categorization, although almost unimaginable in our times of aloneness and loss, is strong enough to get us through any battle, any failings, and any of our “not so easy” periods.  

Everything can be fixed. Everything can be replaced. We can move beyond everything that feels broken. So, with that truth in mind, remember the words: Don’t quit trying to hang on. Don’t quit trying to believe all that we’ve been taught. Don’t focus on our weaknesses and periods of depression.  Do believe in Heavenly Father’s Plan.  Because of the Spirit, we can find peace. We can share the Savior’s Love. We can pull ourselves together once again, and we can move forward beyond the darkness and fear.  

Because of the Grace of the Savior, we’re never alone.  And because of Heavenly Father’s Plan of Happiness, we can redefine ourselves when we feel lost and lonely. We can pick ourselves up again and again. Our journey is one of Eternity. Our mindset can determine how we respond to life. In this journey, we can’t afford to neglect ourselves. Do what makes you stronger. We are all on a journey that has been specifically designed to reach us and teach us and assist us. And while we may seem to get lost periodically, we can develop a mindset that allows us to move forward, we can choose a course of bitter or better. We get to choose where this process leads us.

We can hold on to old grudges, or we can let them drift away. Some try to coast through life without resolving their issues. The main problem with coasting is that the only way we coast is downhill. We need to develop our comfort zones, and we need to understand that we can grow beyond them. But we also need to continue our journey. Comparing ourselves with others is pretty much a waste of time. In fact, it has been said that comparison is the thief of joy. Don’t engage in a battle that can’t be won.  Move on. Everyone is on their own journey. Focus on your own path. Celebrate your own achievements but don’t define yourself by how you compare to others. Value your own emotions, but don’t bottle them up. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. The issue I’m talking about here is that the definition we use to define ourselves may seem complicated and confusing, but most of us have lived long enough to know that we can manage our strengths and weaknesses pretty well.  And yet, problems seem to creep up and take control when we least expect it. When this process settles in, it can be confusing and irritating, to say the least. But don’t give up.  

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.