Since there will always be trials and challenges in life from which we’re to learn unique lessons, it should not come as any surprise when we are faced with a life that appears to be problematic.  And since there will always be a measure of conflict in life in which the ultimate goal is to manage these challenges in the most efficient way, and then to rise above them.  It’s important to remember that we don’t need to lose sleep over these challenges, and we don’t need to try to outrun them.  Just remember, line upon line, precept on precept, here a little, and there a little.  Instead, maybe our goal should be to manage the challenges by being bigger or stronger than the problems that might befall us.  In reality, the answer is much simpler than we might have assumed.   Maybe it all starts with the simple concept of “remember who we are.”

When we are confronted with the emotional and spiritual concepts listed above, don’t give in, don’t give up, but as we prepare ourselves with the knowledge we have developed so far, confidence and strengths will develop.  Life is full of lessons, and it is clear that there will be an endless number of lessons that have been specifically designed to teach us and reach us in ways that are as unique as we are.  We’re right where we need to be, and we have been prepared over our lifetime to learn lessons that could have been taught in no other way.  So, what does all this mean?  To me, it means that our education is eternal in nature, that there is an endless number of values, principles, and insights that have been specifically designed to help us move beyond where we are, and to understand what we are capable of developing.

With this in mind, it only makes sense that we decide to perform with dignity and confidence.  We don’t need to know what all the specifics might be in the challenges that force us to grow beyond our past, but only that we’re not alone in this journey.  To accept this perception means that we can perform with energy and determination.  We’re not alone in this journey.  Others have paved the roads before us, so we can proceed with the reassurance that the course we’re on is the one that has been prepared for us.  With this in mind, how can we decide not to go first class?

As we prepare ourselves to face the challenges and difficulties at this point in life, it’s important to keep in mind that establishing balance in our priorities is essential.  Without taking the necessary precautions, problems may seem to surface when we’re not even aware of their presence.  With this is mind, it is important that we establish balance in our priorities and keep our expectations high.  

The next step is to build only on the concepts of integrity because we will have to live with ourselves for the rest of our lives.  To summarize, we need to execute with tenacity as we refuse to give-in or give up.

The steps mentioned above are designed to enable us to moderate with compassion rather than control, when responding to the concerns of others.  In this manner, it is important that we create the reality of our dreams as we take action, for until we put ourselves into motion, there will always be the possibility that we might lose our direction or motivation.  If and when this occurs, our ability to venture forth will be diminished, and our confidence will be disrupted, leaving us to simply go with the flow.  When this process takes place, our outcome may be significantly altered as we decide to simply drift with the powers that take charge of our lives.  This process is almost guaranteed to result in uncertainty, confusion, and lack of confidence. 

So, what are we to do when it appears that we are lost or disabled?  The answer is relatively simple.  Decide to venture forth with the confidence that we created earlier.  We may have worried about our strengths and our ability to reach out, but undoubtedly, our capacities to engage in these challenges never cease to exist.  It’s almost as if once we discover that we can regain the focus and direction of our lives, our thoughts serve as catalysts which make it possible to reach out and take charge. 

Our goal is to venture forth with self-assurance.  Life is an adventure that is affected by whether we think we can or can’t.  And the interesting principle is that if we think we can solve the problems in life, we will find that the answers will materialize as they are needed.  So, once again, we need to prepare with diligence and a commitment to expect success.  Don’t settle for less, and expect that we will be able to move beyond our uncertainty.  Prepare with diligence and confidence.  This world is full of opportunities for success.  Too many people seem to settle for less.  Don’t do that!  When we believe that the world is full of opportunities, we’ll find them.  When those around us seem to be negative and full of fears, avoid being around them.  Negativity develops negative results.  When we believe that we’ll find the answers to life, we will.  When we reach out to others who have fallen behind, share what we believe, but don’t respond to their negative, immobilizations.  Negative people are generally negative in their thinking.  They often believe that the best of life has passed them by, and those self-defeating thoughts perpetuate their negative thinking.  Rely on our positive thinking patterns.  Such thoughts will tend to generate positive patterns.  And that increases the odds of success.  

Everyone is fighting a battle, and the results of negative thinking will keep many immobilized.  Recognize this pattern for what it is, and then replace the negative with positive expectations.  Help others feel encouraged.  And emphasize how to replace old negative thoughts with uplifting concepts.  The vast majority of people in this world don’t really care which road we choose, and they will accept which ever course we chose.  Be the deciding element that leads to success and enthusiasm.  To accept negative expectations is to set ourselves up for failure.  Develop a sincere interest in others, but don’t lose yourself in the battle.  Fear can immobilize a great many people, and what complicates the lives of many individuals is that they have practiced too many negative thoughts too much of the time.  Or they believe that their thinking patterns are simply the way it is.  This type of dysfunction is consistently passed from generation to generation.  Break the patterns.  Look for the colors in life.  Prepare with diligence and don’t settle for less.  Remember who we are.  Commit yourself to the higher road with healthier thoughts and expectations.  

It’s important to keep in mind that there are reasons why people are the way they are, and we may never understand their reasons.  We are instruments to reach others; either through therapy, education, or spiritual development.  Don’t give- up.  

And always remember, you are more than you have become.    

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.