Slowly, things fall into place. We comprehend our strengths and weaknesses, and we find a new way to rise above our past. We realize what’s important and what isn’t, and that insight makes it possible for us to find a new way to comprehend the course we need to follow. I assume that this change in perception doesn’t occur earlier because we simply weren’t ready for the pieces to fall into place. In other words, we needed more time to enable us to see the correct paths.  

But one day it just clicks and we find ourselves more able to confront the problems that sought to destroy us. We eventually find a new depth of understanding that allows us to move past the stubbornness in our old ways of thinking. There’s really no magic to this process. It is simply that there is an accumulation of pain that makes it impossible to ignore.

The time occurs when we’re less concerned about what others might think and more concerned about being able to envision a new set of options, alternatives, and insights. It’s that simple. When the time is right, somehow, we’re more responsive to correct the principles we’ve been taught, and we’re more able to build on those insights and understanding.

We realize how far we’ve come, and we remember when we thought our ways of thinking would be sufficient. Slowly we learned that our old ways need to be altered, because we wanted more than our old patterns would allow. At that point, something happens and our vision expands, scars and all! 

We seem to be able to see more clearly. In this manner, we’re finally able to comprehend the insights and understanding that may have eluded us before. Our tolerance of pain and deception finally break down, enabling greater maturity.  

I really don’t believe that we were ever meant to be prisoners of our past. And as we progress, we begin to realize that we’re more than our mistakes and we’re more than what we’ve settled for in the past. New strengths develop. New visions materialize. And greater insight makes it possible to move beyond our old patterns. It’s not that life becomes easier, but rather, our coping skills make it possible to travel new roads that open up new skills. Life is good. Reach out. Don’t quit. The end is even more beautiful than the beginning.     

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.