In this world, at some point, many people are mistreated, or traumatized, or lost, or treated unfairly. Very few people seem to escape these trials and challenges that can be life-altering, painful experiences that tend to be unfair and overwhelming. Sometimes children see their parents fighting battles with what is really medical or psychological or psychiatric problems. And unfortunately, the children tend to follow similar patterns. No one escapes these trials. No one. 

Ironically, our afflictions apparently have a beneficial component, in that they can teach lessons that can be taught in no other way. With this in mind, maybe we should ask, not why is this affliction happening, but what are we supposed to learn from these experiences.  

We all want to live a life that is purposeful, in spite of the apparent challenges and confusion. And it seems that since everyone experiences these painful or difficult experiences, these challenges seem to be tests that ultimately leave behind insights and awarenesses. These challenges can be useful in numerous ways throughout our lives.  First and foremost, as we experience these painful and unfair experiences throughout life, we eventually learn that a season of pain does not destroy us.  

We’ve all been taught that faith can move mountains, but hard work also leads to great insights and heightened capacities. Our success is a series of small and simple things. As we grow into who we are meant to be, we eventually realize that the concept of peace is not an absence of pain, but rather it is an awareness of pain. We can manage it. The recognition of confusion and the faith we develop in ourselves makes it possible to move beyond the past of uncertainty and darkness.

We can decide to maintain healthy habits and positive routines no matter how many opportunities we might have missed. Fortunately, success is a series of small and simple things that are within our reach. In this process, anxiety and fear can be faced and defeated. We can decide to fight through these enemies of peace, and develop healthy responses.

An interesting concept is that we are not competing with anyone else, but we are becoming what we have been prepared to achieve. We all have specific traits and abilities that enable us to make a unique impact in life. This concept helps us to cope, so reach out. Be kind and be hopeful. Don’t settle. The best is yet to come. 

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. Since then, he has written a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.