In spite of all we know about eternal goals, maintaining hope, and finding relief, we still need to keep ourselves focused on some very important principles to help us through the instability and uncertainty of the present. The eternal focus is essential in helping to maintain the course we’re on, but the present must be managed in order to maintain our balance and mental health. The following reminders are meant to keep us strong enough to face the storms of this time in our world and in our families.

It helps to remember that life doesn’t always seem fair, but life is still pretty good, and we are the ones who can manage what appears to be unmanageable.

We are not our symptoms. Depression and anxiety can easily raise their ugly heads at times like these, and if we don’t manage them, they have the ability to overwhelm us.

We are proven commodities. But even though we’ve spent an eternity preparing for this brief experience in mortality, the road is not going to be smooth.  

This too shall pass is correct, our fears and uncertainties may seem to make us believe that we need to run away. Don’t believe the fear. Face the fear and change the thought, then move forward.  

If we choose not to move forward, then we will develop symptoms. But when we’re in the midst of the storm, it’s hard to remember that symptoms are just messages that indicate that action needs to be taken. We can handle that; we can manage that; either by ourselves or with the help of others. This is one of the most important lessons of life. However, if we don’t learn the lesson, it will be repeated until we finally catch on.

If we lose confidence in our abilities to manage the challenges of life, then we can expect to experience resentment, anger, and fear. Resentment is not managing the past, anger is not managing the present, and fear is not managing the future. So, periodically, ask yourself, “How am I doing?” Then make adjustments and “re-do” until it feels less miserable. We’ll eventually get it right.

Remember, help will come from both sides of the veil. We’re not alone in these battles. But if we focus too much on the past, depression will develop. If we focus too much on the future, anxiety will result. Continue the self-examination. Reach out to family or friends. Talk to your Doctor.  Take action, and put yourself into motion because motion cures emotion.   

If the solution to this dilemma seems to be beyond our comfort zone, challenge that assumption.  The fact is that we’ve been prepared for an eternity for this brief phase of mortality. Decide to be self-led, not symptom-led. Redefine yourself. The Savior’s light will guide and strengthen us far beyond our ability to comprehend.

Don’t be fooled by our feelings. They are not always right. When facing the trials of life, don’t be fooled. Feelings are not always accurate. Pretending is not always right, so don’t be fooled by those who seem to have no problems. Everyone is in the midst of a mortal battle. They often give others the impression that they have no battles going on in their lives, but mortality goes hand in hand with a wide variety of challenges that can confuse anyone.

We’re all here to be tried and tested. All of us! We all want to go through life with no painful experiences, but all of us are being tested and stretched and tried in ways that are unique for each of us. Some people are experts at hiding the pain, but no one is free from the pain. Some are simply better in hiding their pain and anxiety with avoidance from others, or masks that others can’t get through.   

Diane Westlake has written, “You are equal to all others. Some may have greater talents and power, but you are greater in areas where they cannot go. Do not stop your own growth and progression by trying to emulate or follow anyone. Step out with courage. Look for and develop all that you are meant to be. Step out with courage. Look for new opportunities and experiences. Meet new people.  Learn to add all new dimensions to your present and future”(end quote).  Helen Keller wrote: “Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves” (end quote).

• People are hesitant to change and do so only because it is less painful to do so than to stay as they are.

• People have all the necessary resources to live happy lives. Happiness differs from person to person.

• Regarding change, we are often 51% against and 49% for. It is not necessary to change all 51% …only 2%.

• Therapy is manipulation – morally and ethically. Don’t abuse it.

• Therapy is timeless – each person moves at a different rate.

• The only tool we have is a therapeutic relationship.

• Patients give all the necessary clues to assist change. 

John Waterbury is a retired Clinical Mental Health Counselor who has lived in Utah since 1984 when he moved to Bountiful with his wife and four children. He wrote a a weekly column for several years for the Davis County Clipper titled “The Dear John Letters” which was also used throughout the intermountain West focusing on addiction and mental health problems. This new column will focus on mental health and life management issues.