Anaconda (in theaters)

There’s a certain cheesy, bloody satisfaction in the right kind of “ridiculously large animal eats people” movie. 

A sub-genre of action horror that now mostly exists only on Syfy, they’ve never been the kind of thing a critic would like. The best ones, though, are fun in the way some other so-bad-it’s-good horror movies are. You’ll laugh at the terrible dialog and special effects, but you’ll also probably end up cheering on whatever freak of nature is biting people’s heads off. Sometimes, like with “Lake Placid” and the original “Anaconda,” you’ll end up with a strikingly memorable image out of it. 

The new “Anaconda” is nothing like that at all. It’s not even an affectionate parody of the genre. 

Not that that will be enough to dissuade some people. It’s a straightforward comedy, one that makes some half-hearted attempts to parody the film industry but mostly prefers slapstick and bodily function humor. Hollywood used to crank out several of these types of comedies a year, but now they’re a fairly rare occurrence. With the additional chance to see both Jack Black and Paul Rudd in the same film, some people won’t care how dumb it is. 

And if you’re there for Black and Rudd, it’s probably worth the experience. They’re both clearly coasting, their flatly-written characters not giving them anything to work with, but they’re both charming enough to make you forgive them. Steve Zahn is also here, doing what he always does in these types of comedies and obviously grateful for the opportunity. Thandi Newton, along with Daniela Melchior and Selton Mello, are all clearly wasted. 

If only the snake had gotten to the writer before it attacked anyone else. 

Grade: Two stars

The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants (in theaters)

“SpongeBob” isn’t as good as it once was, but the new movie still has a lot of silly fun. 

“The SpongeBob Movie: Search for SquarePants” doesn’t achieve the heights of the show’s beloved early seasons, but it comes closer than any SpongeBob movie has in a while. It’s good-hearted, solidly funny, and has flashes of the absurdity the show was so famous for. Though some fans will miss their favorite supporting characters – many are reduced to guest appearances – the ones who do get some real screen time are as entertaining as ever. All together, it’s an entertaining trip under the sea. 

The movie starts with SpongeBob finally being tall enough to ride a particular roller coaster. When he proves too scared to do it anyway, he and Patrick go on a quest to prove they’re “big guys.” This involves getting training from the Flying Dutchman, but when the ghost drags SpongeBob into a nefarious plot. His friends rally to try and save him, but is this the last we’ll see of our favorite square?

The humor definitely skews toward butt jokes, but it’s in character for the show and some of them are pretty funny. The live-action sequences are a bit of a mixed bag, but the sequence with George Lopez and Sandy Cheeks are particularly delightful. 

There’s also an excellent short airing with the movie featuring the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Titled “Chrome Alone 2: Lost in New Jersey,” it’s a fun and timely short that deserves a ton of attention. 

Grade: Three stars

Jenniffer Wardell is an award-winning movie critic and member of the Denver Film Critics Society and the Utah Film Critics Association. Drop her a line at [email protected].

Credit for photo ©Columbia