Masters of the Universe (in theaters)

“Masters of the Universe” could have been a ton of fun, but the creative team didn’t trust it enough. 

The resulting movie is still kind of fun, but it spends too much of its far-too-long runtime trying to undermine its own entertainment value. Anyone genuinely interested in a He-Man movie will go in expecting a healthy dose of good-hearted cheese, which “Masters” does deliver. It then proceeds to either mock or deflate that cheese at every opportunity, like they tried to anticipate every YouTube movie influencer joke in advance. The resulting script drags the movie down, poking holes in the nostalgia glow it’s trying so hard to create.  

The movie features Prince Adam of Eternia (Nicholas Galitzine), a.k.a. He-Man. He’s sent to Earth as a child after Skeletor (Jared Leto) takes over his home, and he grows up there telling everyone he’s an exiled prince from another world. When he finally finds the sword that will let him go home, he has to rely on his old friends to help him get his kingdom back. 

Galitzine is earnest enough to make a good He-Man, but the movie makes him bumbling and hapless enough to move well past it being funny. He does finally pull it together and become the He-Man we all remember, but far too much of the movie’s nearly two and a half hour runtime has passed before this happens. The supporting cast is all equally game, but too much attention is paid to their admittedly silly names and not nearly enough on letting them be heroic. 

Someone should have told the creative team not to worry so much about the kind of people who would hate the name He-Man. They were never going to come to the theater in the first place.

Grade: Two stars

The Breadwinner (in theaters)

If you want to know whether you’re going to like “The Breadwinner,” the best thing to do is go online and watch a few clips of Nate Bargatze’s stand-up comedy. 

If you think he’s hilarious, you probably want to watch the movie. “The Breadwinner” is basically the sitcom version of Bargatze’s comedy, stretched into a feature-length film. A few bits are dramatized directly, and there’s some of his stand-up over the credits. 

If you don’t think he’s hilarious, though, stay away from this movie. It’s like a worse version of Michael Keaton’s “Mr. Mom,” for a variety of reasons. First, it’s no longer 1983, and jokes about hapless dads incapable of any household chores have gone from old to embarrassing. Second, Bargatze doesn’t have Keaton’s natural charisma, and at times struggles to look even as natural as he does during his stand-up specials.

The biggest issue, though, is that the movie feels weirdly mean-spirited. Unlike the usual Mr. Mom scenario, where the man valiantly tries to do the mom’s job but makes several mistakes, Bargatze doesn’t bother to try. Googling “how to wash clothes” is beyond him, and when he gets called on it he only complains. 

The ending also only works if you like his comedy – if you don’t, it’ll make you want to throw something. The endless product placement will likely annoy even diehard fans – there’s a whole monologue about Walmart, and that’s just the most dramatic – but they’ll undoubtedly be more willing to forgive him. After all, most sitcoms have commercials. 

Grade: One star

Jenniffer Wardell is an award-winning movie critic and member of the Denver Film Critics Society and the Utah Film Critics Association. Drop her a line at [email protected].